Recently I have encountered a few moms who have declined doing something or hesitated making plans because their husbands were out of town or working late and they did not think they could do it alone. My response to this is always really? Accompanied by a look of shock. My friend, who is a very independent confident woman is hesitating taking her kids skiing an hour away from home with friends all because her husband can’t make it. Really? Her kids are well behaved kids and while they do not know how to ski I just don’t get the challenge here? She is a military wife to boot, the girl moves every three years. Seriously get some gumption woman and take your kids skiing for the day with their friends.
My other friend has people make her dinner when her husband goes out of town because you know its just so hard? Are you kidding me? There is another woman in my neighborhood who is always telling us “well my husband is out of town again so I am on my own” blah blah then try’s to recover by saying I am just so lucky to be able to stay home and live in this house, whatever. When you ask where he is, she tells us at a concert. So I ask isn’t that the same concert he was at last week? SHe says yes he plans his business trip around the concert tour. Really? How old is he? 22? Don’t be all monica mopey around me because you are single mom while your husband is at a concert. UGH
Women are strong! I get knowing your limits. I understand when safety is a concern but it just bugs me when women underestimate themselves. I just don’t get not even trying. My one friend told me , I don’t know how you do it. You take your kids everywhere. I remember thinking well of course, If waited for my husband all the time we would do nothing. It bugs me even more when they gripe about how their husband is working late or out of town and its hard. Yes, it is hard sometimes flying solo but it’s not a punishment and definitely not an impairment. I mean common people SHUT UP AND TRY. If it’s more than you can handle you leave, no big deal.
There are limits and it is important to know what you can and cannot handle. Our church has Wednesday suppers, I cannot handle going to Wed supper. When my kids were 4,3,2 and 1 the thought of going to supper was just too much. It was a mile away and meant no cooking for me but the trade off just wasn’t worth it. It always crowded, the kids never ate which meant feeding them again at home anyway and delaying bed time by at least an hour and for what, mediocre food , cranky kids who are past bed time and chaos. No thanks. The thought of the Wed Suppers alone or with my husband was just overwhelming. However every time my husband would deploy we would go straight from the pier to DIsney World (I lived and hour away at the time). I would take four tiny babies to Disney World for the day by myself. It is possible and even fun. It was hard work, packing diapers for three of the four , sippy cups snacks and of course change of clothes because you know someone spilled or spit up etc. I dressed them all in bright orange shirts for safety and took other measures to be sure we were safe. I have always wanted my kids to see that we can do anything. We just have to try. So yes traveling a mile from home was a challenge yet going to a major theme park was not. It’s all about the trade off and the experience for me. Disney with four kids exhausting but it was fun and memorable and made a sad day a happy one.
I see all these women who have husbands who travel for work or are in the military or even worse work late hours everyday. I personally find it harder when they are home but not home. How about single moms? They are always alone. These women manage, they rise up, they get it done. They go on vacations, take road trips, cook dinner and even go out to dinner. Heck they even go to church which if you ask me is a lot harder to do alone than going to Disney. You just do it.
We are strong, we are the ones that need to show our kids to take charge. We may try and it all flops, that does happen, or maybe it was more than we could handle but you tried.
UGH ladies stop your griping, put your big girl panties on and see what you are made of. Seize each moment, have fun