Recently I have been reading a blog by a girl named Jen. Her blog is called “People I want to Punch in the Throat” (www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com). This girl is absolutely hysterical just be careful because you may pee your pants while reading her blogs. If you have not read her blogs you and are in need of a good laugh you need to go to her website. I keep thinking the title of my blog alone might get me injured. In actuality she is just funny and I am guessing perfectly harmless.
As I read her blogs I realize if she ever read one of mine she may very well come to my house and punch me in the throat. I am gooey and mushy and yes even used the word corny in one of my past blogs. By no means at all am I that perfect suburban mom, I don’t even have an elf on a shelf. Ok so I have a Santa Cam because it was free and I can use it all year-long but you get my drift. Ok she might come punch me now.
Motherhood is such a challenge as we all know. People can blog away, and write books and research the best parenting methods out there. The bottom line is that there is no one way to parent. It is not like a diet that you can choose carb free or sugar-free to make your goal. There is no pick package A if you want to be the super tiger mom pick, pick package B if you want to be slacker mom, pick package C if you want to be working mom. Would that be nice? Pick what time of mom you would like to be and we will send you the manual for free.
Nobody really knows what kind of mom they are going to be until you become one. I have a friend who swore she would stay in the corporate world and then had her five kids and decided she just could not leave them with anyone else all day. I have a friend who is a teacher and choose that profession so she could stay home with her kids and then go back to work once they were all school age. Her daughter was six months old when she realized that she would be a much better parent going back to work than at home all day. As for me, the thought of leaving my kids when they were babies caused me anxiety. I rarely left them and if I did it was while they were sleeping as if they would know the difference. TIme to punch me again.
But like the blogger I too get annoyed at the pressure society does put on moms. The judging that goes on, when one chooses to not breastfeed for whatever reason, the mom who goes back to work before the baby is even three months old. I LOVE being the super suburb mom who picks up her kids from school and announces “surprise, we are going on a field trip to the museum then go for ice cream”. But please don’t punch me because I am trying to seize every moment. Just like I don’t want to punch the mom who never takes her kid to the museum because she has to work. We all have our own style and what we want our kids to remember from our childhood. We all do the best we can. I too get annoyed when someone comments on the fact that even though I am bilingual my kids are not and they very bluntly tell me I am doing an injustice to my children. I happen to agree with this and believe me we are working on it but, don’t tell me its an injustice. It is what it is. There are reasons very valid I might add , at least to me why we did not introduce two languages early on. I don’t want to hear that my children will not make it to their top college choice because I do not have a college planner lined for them already. Are you kidding? My oldest is in third grade. Seriously let them be kids there will be time for that. My children do not play an instrument, they are not bilingual and guess what? They don’t really eat vegetables unless drinking V8 Fusion counts, which by the way in my house does count. I have learned that it is ok if my kids have one day where they do not have an activity. They will get into college, they will get married if they choose and someday if I have done a good job they will each have a job that fulfills them, regardless of what it is.
On the outside, yes I am “that mom”. I am put together for the most part everyday which by the way makes some of the preschool mom who are in sweats want to punch me. However, not perfectly put together, I never have a fresh manicure or the latest clothes. I am not a size zero with perfect abs after having four kids, that alone takes me out the super suburb mom category. But I am the mom whose kids are well-behaved for the most part and I am pretty sure that this will come back to bite me in the teenage years. They are often dressed alike, very sure this will come back to kick me in the ass, and well aware that people make fun of me when I do this to my kids. I work part-time so I can be with my little one and yet have enough time to volunteer at the kid’s school, teach ccd, be team parent etc.. I have a hot meal literally waiting in the table almost every night as my husband walks through the door. Ok time to punch me again. At the end of the day I just want to be the best mom I can be. I try to not let the pressure society puts on us influence my parenting. I live to make my children happy and when I need to get in check, I just read http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com to get grounded again. So thank you Jen for your awesome and honest view on mommy hood . You are inspiring me to be the best I can be and not be so crazy and perfect that people want to punch me.